The moment I decided to stop playing the game of ‘be gentle and amicable’ with my male coworkers (and bosses, and subordinates) was the moment that I started getting heard.
In that scenario, my response would be: “please repeat back the instruction I just gave you.” The onus is on him, or her, or them, especially as your subordinate, to listen. If they can’t complete a basic function, then they’re shit at their job (or at least working with others) and should be removed.
Someone talks over me when I’m speaking in a meeting? Either continue to talk and refuse to be interrupted, or immediately follow their interruption with, “I haven’t finished speaking, please save your comment for later.” Unless it’s absolutely relevant, you had the floor.
Male coworker brings up an idea, which is swiftly accepted/praised, that I JUST LITERALLY SUGGESTED? “I’m glad you agree with the idea of ____ that I introduced earlier in this meeting <reasons that show idea is understood by you, the person who introduced it>.” If I want to be patronising, especially in cases where it’s wilful idea snatching, I thank him for his ‘continued support’.
Refuse to be silenced. Get loud about the shit you do. Blow your own trumpet. Make a point of staying professional but calling out juvenile behaviour and treatment point blank. Of you, your female coworkers, your male coworkers, literally everyone.
I fully agree with you, it is so nice as the resident loud mouth to speak up for other women. I do this all the time with my male college students. “So what you are saying is that you agree with female student X who just voiced the same idea? You realize you don’t get participation points just for repeating other people’s ideas right?“
I’ve been thinking about my old jobs a lot, and I remembered something I had long-since forgotten that I wanted to bring up, which is A Thing that every hourly worker in the U.S. NEEDS TO KNOW.
Employers CAN NOT require you to work without pay.
You might be thinking, “Yeah, no shit, Styna!” But here’s the thing… Sometimes, work doesn’t always look like ‘work.’ And, sometimes, employers try to get away with not paying you for work, because it doesn’t necessarily look like ‘work.’
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Back when I was working 4 jobs, I picked up the phone at PetSmart and said
“Good morning, Macomb Family YMCA, how can I help you?”
the person on the other line was like ‘oh so sorry wrong number’ and I’m like oh no sorry wrong job, I meant
“Good morning, Clinton Macomb Public Library, can I have your library card number please?”
and again they were like ‘uhh wrong number’ and I’m like WAIT NO I CAN DO THIS and finally went
“Good morning, Roseville PetSmart, where pets inspire us, how can I help you today?”
the kicker was I said good morning all 3 times and it was 7 pm.
Do companies realize that they’ll eventually run out of people who can realistically fill their demands if they keep demanding you have 3-5+ years experience at 25 and refuse to hire anything less
actually, I think what they are doing is hiring 25 year olds with 1 year of experience and using that as a way to coerce the 25 year old to accept less pay.
They post 3-5 years experience at 45,000 on the job boards. Which is the market value of the position.But not for someone who has worked in the field for 5 years who at that point in their career might demand 50,000 instead.
then when people come in with 1 year of experience *(which is really secretly all the experience that is needed for the job) they go “oohhhh so. we really like you but based on your experience level we’re going to start you at 35k? is that okay? You know, cause we could be getting someone with 5 years experience, but we really like you.”
And then the 25 year old feels lucky to get ahead and get the job in the first place so they say yes
having to choose when to use your absences from either school or work is the worst because you have to decide if it is really bad enough. you know you could always feel worse tomorrow and you only have so many days you can miss, because your body really does not care about some arbitrary number of days you’re “allowed” to use. it is hard to always be worried about how you will feel tomorrow when it already hurts today.
“it is hard to always be worried about how you will feel tomorrow when it already hurts today”